The Family
Allow me to take you back in time to a very difficult place in my life. I promise you that the lesson to be learned from this story can be helpful to you.
Laila and I were called to serve a church as music minister, director of day care, and church organist. We were so happy...so fulfilled. We counted successes and shared with friends that we expected to be with that church until retirement.
The pastor called me in one day and ordered me to do something that was less than comfortable, if even right. I chose to resign. We moved out. He convinced us to come back, but when we did he reduced our pay from $200 to $50 per week. Three months later Laila and I resigned a second time, took our 1 year-old son, Danny, and moved down the road about a mile into a small frame house.
Laila went to work for a Jewish man who was kind, but who paid her less than half what he paid men doing the same work. I was a graduate student at The College of William and Mary. Could not find a joy. Finally, I resorted to knocking on doors to sell Fuller Brush items.
Laila became pregnant. Time and again we asked the doctor could it be twins. "No, one and big," he would say. The pregnancy was very difficult for Laila. Added to Laila's health challenge, the pastor of the church we had served was my Bishop, but he never came to visit—nor did he seem to care. Our finances were horrible. We did not have enough money for necessities.
More than once we ran out of heating fuel. More than once we would ride in our car until daylight to keep warm. More than once we left a cold house to drive to the country where my brother Bradley lived...and ask for a bed. My sister's house was full.
Laila delivered suddenly at 7 months. Twins! Oh we were excited. Phone calls went out to both families. The first set of twins had come to our families. Three hours later phone calls went out again. No joy. Both babies were critically ill and neither was expected to live.
By noon of that fateful morning all eight of my siblings were in cars or whatever heading in our direction. Mom and Dad were also on their way. The family was coming together.
My eldest sister, Jean, like a surrogate mother, was first to arrive. She lived only a few miles away. A kitchen person, Jean was intent to prepare something to eat. However, our cupboards were virtually empty. No food. She was distressed and made provision. As family arrived they came to learn that Laila and I had been lacking the ability to even buy food. We had borrowed $10 from a friend the night before delivery of the twins to buy food.
My eldest brother Jim arrived. He was a Captain in the U.S. Army. When Jim was informed about out "poverty" status he took me aside privately. "Boy," he began, "what do you think you are doing? What is this about you not having food to eat and nothing in the cupboard? You are part of the family. You could have called any one of us. We would have helped. You did not need to be in need!" And then with a firmness in his voice he said:"Don't you ever let anything like this happen again!"
We gave a son back to the Lord after a few days. God left us with a little girl, Dana, now a pastor's wife.
The lesson of those times is upon my heart these days as a pastor. I am witnessing too many who are running to and fro, trying to manage on their own, hoping to find God in distant and far away places. Their cupboard is empty. They are in need. They are being hindered by Satan from seeing that Brothers and Sisters all around them are resources of prayer and support.
My hope and prayer is that if your cupboard is empty, and if you are going through a time of challenge that you will turn to the Body of Christ. Be found in the center of a people of faith. Allow those who love you to wrap loving arms around you. Draw strength from the Family of God.
It is cold out there alone. It is lonely without the Family. It is warm on the inside.
Pastor Bare
Hebrews 10:25