Thinking and Knowing
Often times it has occurred to me how nice it would be if God would let me know what He is up to. Being matched up against one's Creator on occasion seems to have its adversities.
He knows everything. I am a student. He sees everything, and best I can do is see what’s in front of me, which leaves the back rather blind-sided. He hears everything. Laila says I do not always even hear her.
He never sleeps nor slumbers. I often need a 15 minute rest in the afternoon. He never grows old. I have nothing to say to this fact. He remembers all things. I remember that I don't remember.
"God," I asked 24 years ago, "Please tell me what you are doing. Laila and I, and our three children, must move out by September 1 (1981). We are broke. We have no job. We have no place to move. And we are in much debt."
Silence, painful silence - in the midst of that silence Dr. Landreth said, "If you will come and pastor this church, I will retire." He was a friend, but when I went home and told Laila she said, "No way Jose’!" I echoed that her sentiments were also my sentiments.
We had experienced a wonderful five years of pastoring. But we thought pastoring would be history after graduate school.
Two weeks later Dr. Landreth repeated the offer. I went home and said, "Laila, he offered again." Laila proceeded to tell me that she thought we should talk about the offer.
On August 31, 1981, Sunday evening, the Bare family stood outside of Covenant Church while the congregation voted. We were accepted. The next morning Randy Smith loaded our earthly possessions unto a Pepsi truck. We moved into the front door of the church apartment, while Dr. and Mrs. Landreth moved out the back door to a home they had purchased.
Last evening Laila and I stood and hugged each other in about the same spot we had stood and waited 24 years ago. Our hearts were so full. Our joy was over-flowing. Our happiness cannot be contained.
Think and Know? Now wait a minute. You have to understand that I was a restless soul as a young man. Laila and I moved 13 times in the first 13 years of our marriage. She would ask me if I would ever settle down. My answer was brief: "Probably not."
I thought I wanted God to tell me my life plans. Having worked hard to prepare myself for a good work, it seemed reasonable to me that the Creator should cooperate and let me in on His strategy for my life.
Are you still pondering think and know? Let me assure you that I thought I knew what I wanted. But from this vantage point, these years later, I would have high-tailed it out of here if God had told me: "Son, I am sending you and your wife and three children to live 6 years in a 3-bedroom apartment surrounded by an asphalt parking lot; I am sending you to do a building program to be completed in less than a year after arrival; I am sending you to build without funds being assured; I am sending you to build an additional multi-million dollar structure that will have a $500,000 deficit, and the general contractor will walk out in the middle of the construction; I am sending you to build a trans-cultural church with mission outreach around the world; I am sending you to stay for 24 years!!!!!!"
Think? I know. I know that if the Creator had said such things to me I would still be Jonah running. It has often occurred to me that I do not want to know if bad things are going to happen to me. But it has taken time for the Creator to teach me that in my frail frame I cannot always comprehend the GOOD that HE HAS PLANNED!
Last evening we had a bi-annual business meeting. We ended up in worship. It felt like church. Folks, that is not real -- a church business meeting ending with joy, with thankfulness, with expectancy? But it happened.
What God has and is doing is beyond my largest dreams. More than I hoped for. More than I expected. His goodness prevails. With all the adversities of life, and what the devil throws in, there is so much joy for the grace and mercy of God.
There is work yet to be done. Missionaries depend upon us. Many inner-city families are in desperate need of the gospel and a helping hand. The bus loaded with coats and Christmas presents for American Indians in New Mexico will leave Covenant Church on Sunday, September 11. Architectural plans for new construction are in process. Ministries on every level are pressing evangelism and discipleship.
Laila and I want to say "Thank You" as we begin our 25th year. Your kindnesses to us compel us to faithfulness.
We have much to do for Jesus and so little time. Be assured. I am glad the Creator has led us along the path He designed (Jeremiah 29:11), revealing to us only what we need to know to be faithful.
With much love and expectancy,
Pastor Bare and Laila
Isaiah 58:11