The Ears of Children are Paths to Their Hearts
Laila and I were traveling with Josh, our son, age five. We talked in code language and sometimes spelled words to insure that tender ears could not understand. With head on hands resting against the back of the front seat, Josh sat quietly behind us.
“You don’t have to spell it,” he said, “I am not listening.”
There have been many times in ministry when it seemed to me that parents were just saying it, as if children were not listening.
Children have ears. They hear and translate messages to their own understanding. Parents, with words, can affect the lifetime and eternity of a child. Children act out words they have heard.
How a child puts words together is curious. Son, Danny, was a child when he heard Laila and me talking hopefully of the church growing. His response was emphatically “NO, I don’t want the church to grow.” When questioned, he responded, “Because if the church grows the new carpet will not fit.”
When told that we were going to leave our first pastorate, our daughter Dana cried until her body jerked. Finally, in desperation we convinced her to share what was bothering her so badly. “What will our new Zip Code be?” was her response. Her wise mother understood that she wanted to know if her friends could write her.
Many years ago this pastor had a particularly long day.. After arriving home at about midnight, the phone rang. “Pastor, you need to go visit a family. Their son has just committed suicide.”
A short time later I sat with the grieving parents and shared their sorrow. Deep and pitiful were the laments. Empathetic, yet it was my challenge to give them godly counsel, to comfort them, and to encourage them to look to the Lord for strength and healing.
Nothing, but nothing, seemed to turn their hearts from dreadful sorrow. Sorrow turned to anger. Anger lingered only shortly until hard words and doubts against God were voiced. All my words of encouragement fell flat.
About 2:30 AM, with my heart broken for their loss, I realized that no healing would come to them while they held anger toward God. And another problem had become conspicuous.
Did I forget to tell you that there were two other children present and listening to their parents? Not once had the parents even acknowledged the listening ears of these children. Their whole world was absorbed in how wonderful and perfect their dead son had been and how God had failed by allowing him to take his own life.
Kindly I spoke, “Your loss of a son is great. I do not have all the answers. I cannot explain why. I know the pain seems greater than you can bear; however, I beg you to be careful with your words. You have two children listening. They have lost a brother and need you, their parents, to be strong and assure them that you are here for them. And, they need to see you in faith look to God.”
Imagine you disregard Bible study or go to church only when convenient. Think of the words you are saying to your children. Children hear your testimony of Jesus, but they do not see actions that testify of commitment to Jesus and His Church as a first priority.
Imagine a parent tells his children how wonderful a church is. Then later the parent tells his children that the church is not wonderful. Think of the confused message the child receives.
Imagine that a parent takes vacations and does not go to church. Isn’t this a message to the children that Sundays are not important?
Imagine allowing a child to become involved in sports that absorb Sundays with no worship or Bible study. Isn’t this a very loud message that “sports" is the god to be worshipped?
Imagine that a parent lives comfortably, drives a nice car, affords eating out, vacations to nice places, but does not display faithfulness in tithes and offerings, caring for the poor, and giving to missions to share the gospel with the world (Matthew 28:19). Children “hear” loud and clear, “It is all about me and my family.”
Imagine that parents narrow their friendship group to a few, instead of seeing the whole local church as one body. Is this not a clique, a social club? What is the message the children hear in the home?
Imagine that children “hear” their parents talking respectfully to each other.
Imagine that children “hear” their parents talking about faithfulness in stewardship to the Church.
Imagine that children “hear” the consistency of their parents in faithfully being in God’s house and in a place of service on a Sunday.
Imagine a child growing up in a home and church where faith is practiced, not just spoken.
Imagine the power of actions “spoken” into the hearts of children, teaching them of the wonder of God’s faithfulness.
To parents and all those who work with children, remember: You are speaking “words” into the ears of children. May the words give life, not bring death.
Prayerfully,
Pastor Bare
“...He who has ears to hear, let him hear!” Luke 8:8.